Dating Like a Mother

This came on the radio today.  Very different but very similar

 Halloween is was one of the hardest days of the school year for a teacher.  The kids are beyond excited about trick or treating, they're dressed in their consumes, and parades and parties are on the agenda.  I like to keep my kiddos guessing up until the day i reveal my costume.  This year even with a handful of clues, no one was able to guess what I was going to dress as.  The Chicka Chicka Boom Boom Tree was my costume of choice.  It got a lot of attention and was a favorite among the kids and parents.  Very family friendly.   This year I was blessed to invite parents back into my classroom to help organize and run our party.  It was so nice to just enjoy to party and not feel the stress of trying to do it all on my own.  The kids had a blast and surprisingly the wheels stayed on the bus.  Before the kids left for the afternoon, i made one request... No CANDY for breakfast.  (The day after is also hard... tired kids and...

 Magnetic force is the attraction or repulsion that arises between electronically charged particles because of their motion.  Todays STEAM class was all about magnetic force.  Don't worry I did a great job of making it much simpler for my little friends.  They had a great time playing with magnets and exploring objects that are magnetic and objects that are not.  We talked about the North pole and the South pole, of course Santa Clause came up, we digress easily.  I managed to circle them back and wrap up our morning together.  But not without a few wise jokes between my assistant and I about my dating life and the magnetic attraction and pole I feel and don't feel. I recently had coffee and then dinner with an amazing man.  He said to me after our second meeting that He's all in if I am.  Wait What??? ALL IN?  Wait, I don't know you.  Did I mention he is an amazing man and has everything to offer. I have been told time and time aga...

 I'm not really sure how my baby turns 16 tomorrow.  One might wonder why and I sharing this on my datinglikeamother blog, well without him I wouldn't be a mother.  I remember this day like it was yesterday.  So, here it goes. October 26, 2007 I was 34 weeks pregnant and couldn't be more excited to welcome my first child into this world.  Micah was prayed for and wanted so badly for a couple years.  He was a true answer to many prayers.  About 4 days prior I had experienced a few things that made me think that he might be coming sooner than later.  They told me to just keep my appointment for Friday and if anything changed to give them a call.  In the meantime I continued to 'nest' and prepared for my baby.  I had stopped working just a few weeks prior (I had not taken a class of my own that year knowing I would not be retuning after the birth). We attended my appointment that morning.  The doctor checked me and said everything look...

  "If I'm arguing, I care.  If I'm silent I'm done".  This couldn't be further from the truth.  Anyone who knows me, knows when I go silent there is a problem.  It simply means I'm done and then cut the relationship (friendship, lover, coworker, family whatever it is).  I'm very good at giving chances but push me enough and I eventually break.  When I argue and continue to share it's because I care.   I am aware that this is not a healthy way of handling things, I am trying to work on this.  I feel that the above statement will continue to hold true.  At the same time I hope to be able to communicate and be more open to sharing my feelings vs shutting down.   How do you choose to respond when someone has pushed you too far?

This teacher was recently given a homework assignment of her own.  At first, I had mixed feelings.  But I'm always up for a challenge.  My assignment was to create a BRAG List about myself.  I was told to make a list of all the things I am really good at.  I'm not sure that everyone would agree with this list (that's my insecurities speaking) but i decided to go with it anyways.  As I started to make the list things would pop into my head about things others have said about me, making me second guess myself.  I thought it might be fun to ask my boys a similar question.  I asked them to come up with 5 things they think I'm really good at.  (this was surprising but at the same time, not surprising at all) Here goes my list in no specific order... no judgement please... Great Teacher Loves Others Hard Compassionate Being a mom Baking ( muffins, cakes, breads, cake balls, cookies) Giving more than 100% to those I care about Multitasking Time mana...

I recently came across this song, All that Really Matters by ILLENIUM & Teddy Swims.  It really is what's important.  If you know me, you've heard me say... I'm Scared.  If I'm honest, I am scared.  I'm scared I'm doing it all wrong.  I'm scared I'm not doing enough.  I'm scared I won't find someone. I'm scared that I'll never find true happiness in the end.  I'm scared I'll be alone.  I don't need a person to make me happy, but I do need an inner peace.  I need that circle of safety.  Those who notice when you didn't return home, those who notice you haven't been answering your phone.  In the end we need people in our circle.  Find something you can hold onto, someone you can come home too.  Within the last couple weeks, I cut my circle once again.  I realized some of the people I had let in were not ultimately looking out for me.  If you get a chance, take a listen and maybe even pull up some other albums....

 High maintenance is defined as needing a lot of work to keep in good condition.  Also, demanding a great deal of  attention, money or effort.  I'm not sure if being called the above is an insult or compliment.   I was recently told by a gentleman that he described me to his friend as high maintenance but kind of in a good way.  I wasn't really sure how to respond at first.  Similarly I've been told that i give an image of perfection.  Neither of these two things are anything that I am or how I want to be described. Taking care of myself both physically and mentally is very high on my priority list.  This is not just for me but also those that I love and care about around me.  I want someone to see me for who I am, not what I look like.  I promise the inside is so much more beautiful than the outside.  I am kind, loving and generous.  I want someone to take pride in who I am and the fact that I care for myself physica...

 I'm keeping a secret, it's one I'm keeping close for now.  Let's just say that I skipped barre this morning (I NEVER do that, especially on a day off.  I take full advantage of a morning class when I can) and I'm so glad that I did.  I'm going to leave it there.  Have a great weekend!

 An insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainly.  It produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations.  Everybody deals with insecurities from time to time.  It can appear in areas of life and come from a variety of causes.  I’ve wanted to write on this topic for so long now, but the judgement kept me from touching the topic.   But, here it goes… Complete transparency, I’m riddled with insecurities.   This stems back to childhood.   Let me just start by saying that I am very good at disguising my insecurities and downplaying them.   Most would think of me as one of the most confident women they know.   This could not be further from the truth.   As a young child I was quickly labeled and was put into a category and no one ever really expected much from me.   I was expected to just sit and be pretty.   I was never expected to achieve more than jus...

 When you date someone, and someone who lives in your area you often have to share spaces.  Today after school (it was pajama day) I needed to make a quick grocery run for ice cream sandwiches (I promised Noah they would be waiting when he got home from school) before picking Micah up from school .  As I circled the parking lot I saw what I thought was a familiar face.  I took a second glance and it was confirmed.  I then thought to myself do we really need those ice cream sandwiches?  I then reminded myself that this too is my grocery store.  I circled around and parked my car and headed in.  I wanted to quickly get in and out as I had high school pickup calling my name.  I headed straight for the frozen department and wanted to check out ASAP.  As I rounded the corner of self checkout there was that familiar face.  I thought for a moment that I should just go to another check out but then again my store too.  I checked out an...

This week i began teaching and additional class at school.  Its an enrichment course for the kiddos that don't attend on Fridays.  I am lucky enough to be working with Jen during the next 6 weeks.  She is an incredible woman, mother and follower of Christ.  She knows enough about my journey and knows how long and hard it has been.  As I've been facing new challenges as the year is coming to an end, I have been struggling with the path I've been on.  I've wondered WHY God has sent me down this road.  What's the purpose in the pain and loneliness?  Why does it continue?  Does he not see me and my suffering?  I am far from a perfect person, but I try to live the best life I can to represent Christ and show love and honesty to those around me.   Back to Jen, she always has the right words and positive energy (even with her own struggles).  She can lift you when you are low and knows exactly what to say.  When we were teac...

 Recently the boys and I got all dressed up for our yearly photos.  This is one of two things I ask of my boys, I request that they cooperate.  My request is not always met but none the less we manage to get a couple great shots.  This year I decided to have a close friend meet us at the park simply to snap a couple shots of the boys and I for a Christmas card.  I didn't require any individual shots, mom son shots just wanted the 4 of us.  This has been a hectic year and a Christmas card always wraps the year up.   Yesterday, I officially ordered our cards and I can't wait for them to arrive in everyone's mailboxes.  The holiday season is coming and coming quickly.  Since my divorce holidays have been difficult for me but Christmas cards is something I still find complete joy in.   Below is one of the silly out takes from our mini session.  The boys absolutely love to poke fun at me and give me a hard time.  One actua...

 This has been a very full week.  I taught Monday- Friday this week, I'm usually admin on Fridays.  I've had a few very heavy moments.  More on those in a minute.  The chaos of my days sometimes keeps me distracted but in those quiet moments I'm changed.  Between the boys busy schedules with sports and social after school moves quickly.   This week I felt like I was under a bit of attack.  I'm not going to say by who, but It's someone who knows all of my weaknesses and strikes when they feel even just a little threatened.  People have questioned why I struggle to be vulnerable.  Simply said, because everyone I've ever let in has ultimately turned it back on me.  Since childhood I've struggled to trust, trust that my best interest was always at heart.  This lead me to some of my relationship choices this far.  Allowing people to treat me in a way that is completely unacceptable.  Whether you agree or not, I think ...

 There is something about a letter or card, pretty much anything hand written and dropped into the mailbox.  It's one of my favorite things to receive and surprise someone with.  It says I'm thinking of you (I love you, I miss you, I'm sorry, Happy Birthday, Thank you or just because).  I'm a sender, and sender often to those around me.  I don't receive often but when I do, you'd think it was Christmas morning. When I was first married, and even pretty far into our marriage I loved to write notes and leave them randomly for my ex to find.  Sometimes in his car, in his work bag, on the mirror or under his pillow.  It was a simple way to say I'm thinking of you.  You were important enough to me to put it in words.  He often would return the favor.  I recently found a letter in a drawer in my office (at home) that my ex had written me during the darkest of times.  I can't say that I had ever read it before.  I'll spare you the det...