Dating Like a Mother

 After writing my last entry about the book Attached, I read an article written about the theory of attachment.  It was very helpful to me and made me feel a lot less anxious about the idea of fitting into a specific style.   Let me just start by saying that as I read the book Attached, I felt a bit like a monster, like there was something wrong with me and what I was bringing to a relationship.  The further I got into the book the worse I felt.  I actually just stopped reading at one point.  I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with me, why wasn't I able to see my partners needs and just meet them.  Why were my needs and fears getting in the way of me being what they needed.  This went on and on. After reading an article titled 'The Trouble with attachment theory' by Freddie deBoer I started to feel better.  Fitting any one person into any one category just isn't realistic.  I remember thinking this as I read the book and may ...

 This summer I was asked to read the book Attached by Amir Levine.  There is a quick quiz to help determine your attachment style.  Most people upon first meeting me and maybe months in would likely say I'm a secure attachment style.  Everything about me screams confident, self sufficient and frankly has it all together.  Let give a quick overview of the different styles. Secure Attachment: Warm and Caring Trusting & Forgiving Good Boundaries Manage emotions well Responsive Honest and open Avoidant Attachment: Fear Closeness Distant and Withdrawn Avoid Conflict Extreme Independence Emotionally Distant Unresponsive to partner Logical Anxious Attachment: Relationship insecurities Fear of abandonment Lack of boundaries Mood fluctuations Highly sensitive Overly accommodating Disorganized Attachment: Unable to self regulate Find intimacy and trust difficult Tendency to dissociate Lack of empathy Wants closeness but fearful of others Upon discussing this with some...