Dating Like a Mother

I'm very clear about one thing.  My boys are most important to me.  This journey is not just about me but also about them.  One of the sexiest things about a man is the Father that he is.  I want nothing more than to be happy, but their happiness is most important to me.  All three of my boys are completely different but perfect in their own ways.  I don't like to open up about my boys, they're my secret treasure.  But, I've slowly realized over time that in order for someone to fall in love with me then they have to love the mother that i am and eventually love my boys too.  This whole journey some days seems completely impossible and scary.  But, it's my time, it's my turn.  For so long i wondered when it would be my turn, when do i get answers and i truly believe it's coming.  I don't know what its going to look like, i don't know what it's going to feel like.  My boys will stay my treasure until i know... but, when i know i...

I'm not one for country music but when i first heard 'The Fighter' by Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood it spoke to me... if i remember correctly i was sitting at the pool this summer.  I'm going to break it down for you in my own MB style... HE HURT ME... He hurt me.  He promised he wouldn't.  He not only made me scared of love but terrified.  You maybe different but that doesn't mean i won't question it.   That pain isn't easily washed away.  In some form it will always be there. And i'm sorry its the aftermath or after shock waves of my past. He didn't realize what he had until it was gone. I'M GOING TO FALL... Falling is a part of life and i'm going to need you to hold me.  I'm going to need reassurance.  I've never had a man that treated me the way a women deserves to be treated.  Sadly this goes all the way back to my childhood.  I WILL CRY, AND I'LL BE SCARED... I am scared, When the pain tries to get to me, ju...

For those of you that know my story, you know how and why this song speaks so loudly to me.  As i sat on that bathroom floor, the door being held shut, the fear that ran through my body, the pain i didn't even know was yet to come.  I wanted to just give up, but i had to learn to fight for myself.  You said that i was done but you were wrong the best is yet to come.  If you don't know my story... ASK!

A couple weeks ago i was at dinner.  I noticed the couple down the way were out celebrating their anniversary.  I looked across the table and i said, "they're so cute, and they're celebrating their anniversary.  I heard the waiter congratulate them" I then joke, do you think it's their first or second marriage?  He quickly responded, first.  As they got up from the table and headed our direction, the question was asked.  We couldn't help but notice it's your anniversary and were wondering how many years you are celebrating.  The women responded 64 years.  My date then said, "whats the secret?" The women hemmed and hawed for a moment and said something about putting up him the little stuff. The gentleman was making his way over and quickly said without even thinking... "I picked right"  He picked right.  I sure hope i get the chance to pick right.  Choosing someone to spend your life with is simple but so hard at the same time....

Don't call me Baby, unless you mean it!  Don't tell me you need me if you don't believe it. Don't hurt me and lead me on...

The past few weeks have been full of non stop craziness.  Everyone has returned to school and i started my new role as PTA president at the boys school.  I can't believe all the work and energy it has required, but i have an amazing team that's keeping the bus moving.  We have already made great progress and well on our way to great things... I've actually gone off the dating app for now focusing on other areas.  Many people find the dating process fun, i don't.  Sure meeting new people is nice but i much rather focus my energy on one.   I've been super busy with kid activities.  The boys and i are actually going over to Feed My Starving Children tonight to volunteer.  I think given the crisis in Texas and Florida it's a great time to get the boys out and involved touching others lives.  I'm also super excited because this weekend the boys and i are having our yearly photo shoot.  Our outfits and picked out and the location i...