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Seriously...

This weekend I made reservations to celebrate a good friends birthday.  It's always hard in the month of December to do anything besides the "Holidays".  But, I wanted to make sure the day didn't pass without her feeling special.  To make the day extra special she invited a few other friends and their children.  

We finally got settled in and I noticed this guy, he had noticed our table too.  I kept racking my brain trying to figure out how I knew him.  I playing over my students dads, my boys friends dads, other dads at school, my social circle but I kept coming up short.  I finally said something to my friend and she said, Oh he's on the dating apps.  (One of the first things I often do is check fingers for rings to eliminate that as a possibility...he had a ring).  I said but, he has a ring.  She said, exactly.  This is what were dealing with.  The man was clearly out with family and extended family but is spending his "free" time looking on dating apps.  

Can someone please help me understand this... First, he wasn't remotely attractive.  When I say that I don't intend to be mean, but he was a slob. (He should be happy his wife stays with him).  His shirt was barely tucked in, it looked like he hadn't even looked in the mirror.... but HE thinks he's entitled to not only his wife but a side chick too.  WTH?

How are honest men and women supposed to find someone if this is what dating apps are full of.  People who are just playing around and wasting other's time.  This is why trusting people is so difficult.  I want just one man, not someone else man, not someone who is just looking for fun, just one for me (and me alone, I don't share well).  

That all aside, men (and likely women too) must feel very secure in their relationships and clearly not afraid of getting caught.  Does this mans wife not have any single friends?  How would he think he won't and can't get caught.  Or does he not even care?  I can't even begin to imagine carrying that guilt, the guilt of keeping something so big from my significant other.  

I want nothing more than to find my person, someone to share all of life's responsibilities with, happy moments and even the hard.  I refuse to put myself out there again only to be hurt again.  With that being said, I'm not sure dating apps are really for me.  Not only that, I think the only way I'll be able to trust, would be meeting/dating someone who's been vetted.  Someone that a friend or friend of a friend that really knows their character.   

A little back story... Awhile back my assistant at school said, I know a guy.  He is a great dad and his daughter is in my daughters girl scout troop.  Long story short, he was a great dad and had a great job but his personal life was a mess behind closed doors.  I kindly declined, we all have our baggage but some isn't and never will be mine to carry.  He was just looking to play games in the meantime... No Thanks!

I had another guy that was recommended by a friend and he was close, very close.  He was exactly as I was told.  A great guy, ultimately I just didn't feel like he was actually physically and mentally attracted to me. (He never said that, It's just how I felt) And that's okay, I'm not for everyone.  

I'm taking referrals, send them my way!

Blessings!

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