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What have you Quit?

If you know me, you know that my faith is very important to me.  It is the foundation of who I am.  You also know that I will never push it on anyone.  I'm happy to share but like to live by example alone.  (Trust me, I'm not a perfect example.)  When I say example, I simply mean that I put my trust in God, and know that he will never leave my side.  Even during my darkest days he has walked a long side me.  I share this because of a sermon at church today.  

Today's sermon topic was about not quitting,  putting in the grit and persevering.  Let me also say that I did NOT agree with everything I heard.  But I'm going to stick to the parts I did like.  He spoke a lot about pushing forward even when it seems impossible to keep going.  Knowing that If one gives up they ultimately will lose.  For example, college.  College can be a of hard work, challenges arise, sometimes it would seem to be easy to just drop out.  But in the end you don't have a college education, you don't have those life experiences.  Your marriage, relationship's are a lot of hard work.  Bad things can happen, but giving up, turning away and making poor decisions affects everyone.  The result is a broken home, children having to be juggled, finances split, shared time and loneliness.  Why do we give up so easily?  This is what caught my attention.

I'm going to shift a bit...  After my divorce and being completely shattered, and watching my family break, I was scared.  My focus was persevering and being the best mom I could possibly could be.  I pushed through every beerier for my boys.  I never wanted them to hurt or feel different because of the choices made for them.  With that being said, this is not what I wanted and was never my plan but was ultimately my decision.  (my situation was one I could NOT stay in.)  

I'm gonna shift again... I see a reoccurring pattern in my life.  Many of the most important people in my life even from a very young age have quit on me.  I'm not going to get into all these things but I am going to say that this has lead to a great trauma in my life.  I done a lot of therapy to move through these things but in the end the fear of someone again quitting on me in huge.  Trusting someone completely, sharing all parts of myself just to be quit on is terrifying.  

I need to find just one, just one that won't quit.  One that realizes that this is going to be hard, but sees the worth in the connection and having that one person.  Actions speak louder than words.  I know I am not perfect and I know that I can become scared easily when things become unsteady, but I also know that I am loyal, honest and trustworthy.  When I'm in, I won't Quit.

What have you Quit, that you wish you hadn't?  There are days when I want to give up and quit looking for my person but I can't, I won't.  I just don't accept that God's plan for me is to be alone, I think all things happen in his timing.  I'm going to turn it over to him for now, be social, be myself and see what happens.  I'm worth it! I won't Quit, not on myself!

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