Skip to main content

What have you Quit?

If you know me, you know that my faith is very important to me.  It is the foundation of who I am.  You also know that I will never push it on anyone.  I'm happy to share but like to live by example alone.  (Trust me, I'm not a perfect example.)  When I say example, I simply mean that I put my trust in God, and know that he will never leave my side.  Even during my darkest days he has walked a long side me.  I share this because of a sermon at church today.  

Today's sermon topic was about not quitting,  putting in the grit and persevering.  Let me also say that I did NOT agree with everything I heard.  But I'm going to stick to the parts I did like.  He spoke a lot about pushing forward even when it seems impossible to keep going.  Knowing that If one gives up they ultimately will lose.  For example, college.  College can be a of hard work, challenges arise, sometimes it would seem to be easy to just drop out.  But in the end you don't have a college education, you don't have those life experiences.  Your marriage, relationship's are a lot of hard work.  Bad things can happen, but giving up, turning away and making poor decisions affects everyone.  The result is a broken home, children having to be juggled, finances split, shared time and loneliness.  Why do we give up so easily?  This is what caught my attention.

I'm going to shift a bit...  After my divorce and being completely shattered, and watching my family break, I was scared.  My focus was persevering and being the best mom I could possibly could be.  I pushed through every beerier for my boys.  I never wanted them to hurt or feel different because of the choices made for them.  With that being said, this is not what I wanted and was never my plan but was ultimately my decision.  (my situation was one I could NOT stay in.)  

I'm gonna shift again... I see a reoccurring pattern in my life.  Many of the most important people in my life even from a very young age have quit on me.  I'm not going to get into all these things but I am going to say that this has lead to a great trauma in my life.  I done a lot of therapy to move through these things but in the end the fear of someone again quitting on me in huge.  Trusting someone completely, sharing all parts of myself just to be quit on is terrifying.  

I need to find just one, just one that won't quit.  One that realizes that this is going to be hard, but sees the worth in the connection and having that one person.  Actions speak louder than words.  I know I am not perfect and I know that I can become scared easily when things become unsteady, but I also know that I am loyal, honest and trustworthy.  When I'm in, I won't Quit.

What have you Quit, that you wish you hadn't?  There are days when I want to give up and quit looking for my person but I can't, I won't.  I just don't accept that God's plan for me is to be alone, I think all things happen in his timing.  I'm going to turn it over to him for now, be social, be myself and see what happens.  I'm worth it! I won't Quit, not on myself!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Finally Met the Man I Never Thought I Would

 For the last ten years, my world has revolved around my three boys. I poured everything into them, my energy, my time, my heart. I became their anchor, their safe place, their constant. And as the years passed, they grew. Not just taller or older, but more independent and confident. Little by little, I began to feel that familiar shift: they still needed me, but not in the way they once did. For the first time in a decade, I could finally breathe for myself again. I had no expectations of love finding me. My life had settled into a rhythm of responsibility and quiet strength. But then, as life often does when we least expect it, it brought someone into my world who would change everything. A man finding love after loss. A man who loved deeply, truly, wholeheartedly before. Instead of feeling intimidated by the depth of his past, I found myself moved by it. The way he speaks of love, the way he honors what he once had, only makes me feel closer to him. It shows the kind of heart he...
Post a Comment
Read more

December

December is just a day away.  December is such a busy month, and I'm just bracing myself for the speed at which it moves.  Presents to be purchased and wrapped, Christmas cards to be sent (they're ordered with just a few last minute changes to receives)  That's right, this year I'm cutting my list down (more on that in a moment). Decorations to be put up (I'm a bit behind this year) Christmas programs to be practiced (so many amazing memories with this one) Projected to be finished, Volunteering to do (this year we're making stops at Santa's workshop in downtown Naperville as well as the Ronald McDonald House and who can forget Family Christmas. This year I pulled up mt Christmas address labels from last year, after printing I realized there are a few that will NOT be receiving a card this year.  No ill feelings (maybe a few) but, you just didn't make the cut this year. I actually thought long and hard about this (as posted before) I thought I would be t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Seriously...

This weekend I made reservations to celebrate a good friends birthday.  It's always hard in the month of December to do anything besides the "Holidays".  But, I wanted to make sure the day didn't pass without her feeling special.  To make the day extra special she invited a few other friends and their children.   We finally got settled in and I noticed this guy, he had noticed our table too.  I kept racking my brain trying to figure out how I knew him.  I playing over my students dads, my boys friends dads, other dads at school, my social circle but I kept coming up short.  I finally said something to my friend and she said, Oh he's on the dating apps.  (One of the first things I often do is check fingers for rings to eliminate that as a possibility...he had a ring).  I said but, he has a ring.  She said, exactly.  This is what were dealing with.  The man was clearly out with family and extended family but is spending his ...
Post a Comment
Read more