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It Happened so Fast

 About 16 months ago I had agreed to go out on a second date with a gentleman.  He was very different from my usual type.  He was a clean cut guy and professional living here in Naperville.  He had three children 2 girls and a boy.  Our first meeting was very simple and I learned enough about him that it felt safe.  This is a story I've been very hesitant to share publicly.

We agreed that we would meet at the destination.  He suggested that I uber since I'd be drinking because that was his plan.  I told him I'm always in control and would be just fine because I know my limit.  I had planned on having just one drink.  

I arrived first and waited for him to join me.  We sat at the bar, had dinner and I enjoyed my glass of wine.  He enjoyed multiple cocktails.  He started to become very touchy with me and I just wanted to go home.  When he realized that I wanted to go home he became a bit annoyed.  He tried to push for us to go to another bar and i kindly declined. He then suggested that we go back to his place, again I said no thank you.  He kept telling me, come on we're both adults. I told him I was tired and just wanted to go home.  I didn't want to upset him so I was trying to tread carefully.  

He insisted on walking me to my car, I allowed him to do so.  As we approached my car he asked if I would give him a ride.  This was my mistake.  I just wanted the night to end and to be away from this man that I gave.  He got in my car and he started to direct me to his home.  As we drove he placed his hands on my head, touching my hair and eventually touching my thigh.  I pushed him away as I tried to drive.  As we finally pulled into my driveway I thought I would be rid of him.  But before he could get out of the car he leaned over (me trapped in my by seatbelt) pulled my hair and shoved his hand up my dress.  He eventually would bite the back of my neck and grope me in ways I never would have imagined.  Eventually he realized I was not going to stop fighting him off and he gave up.  As he exited my car the words he said to me will live with me forever.  He said, You do realize what I have to go into my house and do alone now.  

As soon as the door closed behind him i burst into tears.  I called one of my friends and could barely catch my breath in shock at what had just taken place.  This was a father to daughters, how could he treat a woman like that.  How did this happen to me.  I am always so careful.  Looking back I made mistakes, mistakes I'll never make again.  I did have pepper spray in my car but I had no time to react and spraying it in my car would have done me no good.  

I pride myself on being careful, letting others know where I am going and who I'll be with.  Doing a little background digging on each guy before our meetings.  If I'm honest there was something off about this guy from date one.  I should have listened to my inner self telling me no.  Listen to that voice and hear my warning.  I did report this man to the dating app that we met on and they quickly removed him and took the incident very serious.

After that dating stopped almost completely for me.  I needed time to heal.  I know all men don't attack, and I know there are good ones out there.  After the first of the year I stated to let me guard down a little but not too much.  Here is to carefully proceeding ahead.  

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